


Red And Gold

by purplegoose



Category: MDZS, Mo Dao Zu Shi, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
Genre: Adults, Anger, Angst, Big deal, Dark, Depression, Edgy, Engagement, Fluff, Gay, Hurt, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Modern AU, Nervous, No beta we die like wei wuxian, One Shot, Photos, Plot Twist, References to Canon, Romance, Sad, Seasons, Shock, Short Story, Sweet, Trigger Warning in End Notes, Work, city life, fiance, im shit at tags, lan wangji wants to marry wei wuxian, planning, soft, surprise, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:34:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28369197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplegoose/pseuds/purplegoose
Summary: "Faint images of him spread over the walls of my mind. Shiny eyes and wide smiles accompaning fits of snorting laughter filled my vision while one thought rang out in my ears. Would he say yes?"Lan Wangji spends the entire day thinking about how he is going to propose to Wei Wuxian. Since work has had his boyfriend down in a funk, he is determined to make it the perfect day.It was going to be the perfect day. Wei Wuxian was going to be covered in red and gold.
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 11
Kudos: 31





	Red And Gold

Faint images of him spread over the walls of my mind. Shiny eyes and wide smiles accompaning fits of snorting laughter filled my vision while one thought rang out in my ears.

Would he say yes? 

The years I had spent with Wei Wuxian had seemed to fly by, seasons changing but my presence by his side never wavering. Long ago, I would have worried about him running away in the dead of night, where I couldn’t follow. His adventurous spirit was something that I feared I would not be able to satisfy, but Wei Wuxian assured me that he found adventure in the little things.

Our journeys to the market downtown, nights spent on the roof of our apartment complex watching over the city, trips to Gusu where we’d chase each other in the midst of the forest and sleep with the rain threatening to pour down on us. They were all things he said tamed his spirit.

Wei Wuxian was anything but tame.

My thoughts cut off when the coffee maker beeped, dark and rich liquid steaming in the metal pot. I rubbed my face and grabbed the handle, pouring the drink into a white mug. Once it was full, I gently picked it up and started towards the living room. The edge of my light blue dress shirt scraped against the doorframe as I padded across the hardwood to meet him.

“Coffee?”

He looked up, bleary eyes blinking a few times before he gave me a small smile. Wei Wuxian’s cold hands brushed against mine as he accepted the cup. The blue morning light had started to turn red and gold as it began to stream through the open window. 

The big chair across from the window was Wei Wuxian’s favorite part about our apartment. Thick glass covered the whole wall, giving him the perfect view of the bustling city below us. It was only on the rare occasion that he drew the curtains, red sheets that blocked all the things he would spend hours watching on lazy days. 

Today must have been a lazy day. So lazy, in fact, that he didn’t grab a blanket. His shivers were so bad that some bits of unwashed hair fell from the loosening ponytail he had. The dark bags under his eyes matched the steaming liquid that he let slide down his throat.

“Blanket?” I grabbed the red knitted one from the white couch.

He smiled and lifted up the notebook he had on his lap, clutching it close to his chest.

Making sure that it covered every inch of his lap, I tucked the spare edges in. My hands brushed against his bare legs and the large white sweater he had stolen out of my closet. It was large enough that he had tried to claim it as a dress when we were going to go out on a date night. It was not large enough or warm enough that I let him leave without pants. 

The thought threatened to pull the corners of my lips up as I remembered his laughter while I chased him around the house with pants, our reservation at the restaurant long forgotten. 

“Are you still working or do you get the day off?” I stood up, hands resting behind my back while I glanced out the window.

It would have been the perfect day.

“I still have a lot of stuff to do, Lan Zhan. You know how many hours it’s taken me. How many nights I’ve lost to this thing.” His thin and pale fingers fiddled with the rim of the cup while his eyes stayed focused on something out the window. Grey reflecting the rising sun on the skyline.

I nodded. It had been many nights since Wei Wuxian was able to really rest. 

He hadn’t made it to bed last night. 

The work he was doing was something he hadn’t shared, but I knew that it wore him down to the bone. He forgot the simpler things more often. It was a miracle that he remembered where his head was half of the time. There were many days I would leave to go to work and come back only to find that he hadn’t moved from the chair, still hunched over his laptop or notebook. 

“Aiya. It will all be over soon, and then I’ll be happier. We’ll be happier.” He turned to me and smiled again, eyes faintly crinkling in the corners.

I nodded but pressed my lips together. Something about his demeanor made me think that this was far from over, that there were still going to be sleepless nights to come.

I thought to myself that I would just have to move the bed to the living room, so he could at least work in comfort. 

It still had the potential to be the perfect day, a bit of hope and motivation to bring clear skies to his cloudy work environment. 

“Wei Ying, I believe that I’m going to go to town,” I said, knowing that I still had things to acquire.

“Oh? Will you be gone long?” He peered at me from over the edge of his cup.

“Possibly, I am still not sure.” 

Wei Wuxian waved at me and let out a small laugh. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Take your time.”

With a nod and a kiss on his head, I moved to get my dark blue coat and leave.

“Wait, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian shouted across the room just before I was about to close the apartment door.

Hair fell over my face as I poked my head back in, the box hidden in my pocket burning at my touch. “Yes, Wei Ying?”

“You know that I love you, right?” 

I nodded. “Of course, Wei Ying. I love you too.”

He eased back down in the chair, almost as if a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. “Good.”

With a hum, I closed the door to the apartment. After I locked it as he had always requested, I headed down the stairs to take on the town.

I was going to make this the perfect day.

The first stop was the flower and treat shop. A lovely old couple ran the facility and would always talk to Wei Wuxian when he went on morning runs. 

It wasn’t uncommon for him to bring something home in the summertime after a run. The only thing was that he went on runs when he had stayed up the whole night and needed something to tire him out enough to sleep. 

With the new work schedule and the chilling winter threatening to come, the stories had almost halted.

I supposed that it was my turn to come home with a story. 

Right after I stepped inside, a burst of hot air met my face. Sweet flora and chocolate filled the air. The older woman who ran the shop with her husband was hanging a photo on the wall; a trip to some sort of mountain, dark grey hills spreading past the borders of the canvas. 

Along the wall, there were so many different types of flowers lining the displays. Carnations, lilies, roses, hydrangeas, daisies, chrysanthemums, daffodils, lavender. They all looked so enticing.

A little bundle of red and white lilies caught my eye. In his youth, Wei Wuxian would play in the lily pads with his brother. Time spent chucking slimy leaves at each other was something that he still cherished. 

I secured the little bundle in the crook of my arm and continued browsing. At the end of the line, there were some white roses in the corner. They looked so similar to the ones in the vase where we had our first date. 

The roses found their place next to the lilies in my arm. 

“Did you find everything ok, Love?” The older man came up from behind me and put a calloused hand on my shoulder. 

I nodded and turned around. “I believe that I am ready to check out.”

“Let me help you with that, yeah?” He led me to the tan counter, tapping his wife on the back along his way to the register. 

“Aiya! Cut that out!”

The old man laughed and nudged me a bit. “Gotta keep the marriage alive. I’ll never be bored if she keeps that up.”

I nodded and placed the flowers on the table.

“Eighty-two yuan is the total for today. Did you want any of our new treats or for the flowers to be wrapped?”

My eyes flickered down to the black wire rack before resting on a packet of chocolate-covered pomegranate seeds. Freshly made too.

He’d love them.

“Wrapped, and add this, please.” I set the package on the table.

“Alrighty. That adds an extra twenty-five yuan to your purchase. I’ll get that done for you right now.”

“No need, Honey. I’ve already done it. That’s the nice boy our friend, Wei Wuxian, was telling us about. Have the wrapping be on the house. These are for him, right?” The wife scooted the flowers wrapped with gold tissue paper towards me, nudging her husband.

I nodded, ignoring the burning feeling spreading across my ears.

“Ah, see?”

“Well, I’ll be damned-” The husband put his hands on his hips. “-You are the boy he told us about. I can see why he doesn’t shut up about you. I mean, look at those strong shoulders, those eyes. What are they, amber? Pyrite-colored maybe?"

“I see that you picked out some red flowers. You better cover the boy with red and gold, you hear me?” The wife winked and slipped the cash I had set out into the register.

I nodded and waved them goodbye, not before making a mental note to invite them if he said yes.

Would he say yes?

Walking around with the flowers in hand and seeds in pocket, I let the cold grey air sting my lungs. Grey clouds had started to roll over the city, and the wind was picking up. The trees in the garden across the town square bent in the chilling breeze.

Originally, I was going to take Wei Wuxian out of the house and to the garden. I’d get down on my knee in front of his favorite tree, the mulberry. 

In the square, more memories spread out from every corner and crevice of my mind. The most prominent one was from this past summer. 

School was out for my students, and Wei Wuxian had the day off. We walked around the center of town, his melting strawberry ice cream cone dripped down my fingers while I watched him point out random things in the city.

A group of street musicians had been offering for people to try their instruments, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t resist a chance to play the flute. His Chenqing had been lost long ago, but his muscle memory had not. 

With the golden light and red clouds from sunset rolling around, it was almost as if he caused a little bit of summer magic to fall from the sky. His choppy black hair had gotten stuck to his face as he played. His happy smile and matching eyes had found mine from across the square.

After he finished playing the flute, someone offered a red lyre to him. His fingers had danced along the taut strings so eloquently that for a split second I feared if he was more qualified for my job. Then, he hit the wrong string and mouthed a cursed word.

He wasn’t able to censor himself enough to work with small children; he wouldn’t be stealing my job quite yet.

Wei Wuxian had stolen my heart, however.

His sweet playing and ringing laughter accompanying a scarlet sunset was engraved into my head. A memory I wished to flesh out and keep a physical copy with me at all times. 

Sadly, that day only lived in my mind.

My stomach grumbled, and I realized that I had been standing at the grey crosswalk for a little too long, reminiscing on days past preventing me from catching my turn to walk. The place I wanted to go to for lunch wasn’t that far away, but I mentally scolded myself for being so absent-minded.

I most certainly needed to be present that day. 

There was a seat by the window inside, a bowl of vegetarian soup already cooling off in front of me. It smelled just as delightful as when it did the last time I had it, on my first date with Wei Wuxian. Lots of people were in town today. I wondered if Wei Wuxian could see them from the window if he could take a break to look up from his notebook. 

Could he see the parents and children in the streets? The children just like the ones he used to point at and tug at my arm so we could steal?

“Lan Zhan. Laaaannn Zhaaaannn. I want one. Can we have one, please?” He would always say, pupils so big that his whole iris was almost black. 

“One day, Wei Ying,” I would always reply, having to pull him away before he did something illegal.

It was hardest to pull him away when we were at the homeless shelter. The way he would hold their little hands so delicately while they babbled or cried always pulled at my heart like it was the red lyre he fiddled with. 

A few times, he rocked a few of them to sleep. The soft smile on his face and the droopy eyes of the small children always managed to bring warmth to my eyes. 

I did believe that was the only time Wei Wuxian could ever have been described as tame. It was when he had a child clinging to his legs or holding onto the tendrils of unkempt hair spilled over his shoulders that he could be a dull roar instead of a full-blown hurricane.

I was just lucky enough to consider myself to be in the center of it, standing alongside him while watching the waves and wind destroy and create in the same heartbeat.

All I wanted was to stand alongside him for the entirety of the hurricane’s spell, to watch the beautiful mess he made in his wake.

All I wanted was for him to say yes.

A buzz came from my pant pocket. There was a notification from the copy shop. The photos were finally ready.

He was going to love the photos.

I left a handsome tip on the table in honor of the man who had me tip head over heels.

Love was such a fickle thing. 

The wind slammed the door shut behind me as I stepped into the copy shop, rainwater peppering my black hair and pointy nose. 

“You Lan Wangji?” A smaller woman behind the register was sliding some prints into an envelope, not even looking up to speak to me. 

“Yes.” I walked over, pulling a hand out of my pocket to accept the small package.

“Ninety-five yuan. Who’s the pretty boy?” She leaned over the counter, blonde hair sticking to the gum she blew out in a bubble.

“Hopefully, my fiance soon.” I opened the white cardstock and started flipping through the photos to make sure that they were all present and accounted for.

He was going to love these.

The first photo was from our second date, and he was glowing. Wei Wuxian had let his hair down when we walked into the candle shop, spreading the dark locks all over his red leather jacket. A row of various different scented candles was in front of him, all lit and emitting smoke and aromas at the same time. His hands were clasped together as he scanned across all of the different ones. The blood-red flames gleamed in the reflection of his bright eyes and shone off of his white teeth. A sliver of light smeared itself on his neck.

He had tried to steal my phone and force me into taking a selfie with him after he spotted the camera pointed at him. 

The second photo was from after we had moved in together. For Valentine’s Day, I gave him a necklace with a small clarity bell attached to the dainty chain. We were walking around downtown on an end of summer day when the chain broke. He laughed while holding it in his hand, wind blowing his hair and half-on jacket away as he lolled his head back. The butterflies had been migrating away from the tree garden, hurrying to somewhere warm before winter came in. Red and white wings freckled the clear sky. 

His deep laugh still resonated in my ears.

The third photo was taken in early spring. There was a small lake in the woods near Gusu, and he said that we were going to go rowing. So, we did. The water was so clear, diamonds could barely compare. Green and blue filled the area as we glided across the water, stopping when Wei Wuxian had gotten a red-headed crane to stand next to him.

The happiness on his face was clearer than the waters below and the cloudless skies above. 

One of the final photos was of the two of us. My brother had hosted a New Year’s party. Red and gold covered the both of us as we stood under the cracked glass clock, lanterns pressed against each other while we kissed and rang in the new year. I could still taste the wine on his lips.

I could still feel his hands holding mine when we watched the lanterns glow.

Would a gold ring on one of those thin fingers still have our hand holding feel the same? Would he want a physical reminder of my love, or did he prefer the little unspoken nothings we gave to each other?

I guess I had to ask to find out.

“Wow, he’s gonna love it. I know that I would. I wish my boyfriend would propose to me already. Anyway, is that it?” 

“Yes, I just hope that he’s still awake when I get home.”

She took the money I had extended out and dropped it into the register, not caring if it fell into the wrong slots. “Aww, I love sleepy guys. They never cheat because they’re too tired. You better hurry home before you get cold feet.” 

I nodded and slipped the prints back into their envelope. The rain had started coming down in sheets, the sky a dark and ashen grey. It was the same kind of storm clouds that lingered in his eyes, threatening to thunder and only worsen the hurricane when things seemed a little too tense. 

His days in Lotus Pier Park were long gone, his adoptive mother’s influence no longer weighing down on him. Yet, the clouds still lingered, and the storm carried on. 

He truly was untameable, in every sense of the word. 

The steps creaked as I got closer and closer to the apartment. Considering the torrential downpour outside, it was oddly quiet in the complex. The loudest thing was my heart striking against the insides of my ribs. My fingers encircled the boxed ring in my coat pocket, the golden band still vibrant in my mind. 

As my feet hit the last step, the flowers in the crook of my elbow and the envelope of photos pressed against my torso. A sudden wave of nausea hit me. The ring seemed to be burning through the box, melting the chocolate pomegranate seeds, and searing my flesh. 

Would he say yes? 

Everything felt so hot as I walked over to the door, keys sliding between my fingers.

He was clearly tired earlier that morning, was today not the perfect day?

Would it only make things worse with the thought of a wedding weighing down on him? 

Well, I couldn’t just walk in with the flowers and not have him be suspicious. It had seemed like I forced myself into a corner.

Maybe he would say yes.

Just maybe.

My key fit into the gold doorknob and the door swung open. The plastic in my arms and pocket crinkled so loudly in the silent house. 

“Wei Ying?” 

All the lights were off, but dim light came in through the giant window. It illuminated a man curled up in a ball, back towards me and notebook on the ground behind him. Icy, exposed, purple toes curled in towards the soles of his bare feet. His red knitted blanket was sprawled out under him. It almost seemed like it was growing across the dark hardwood with each blink I took. 

It seemed like some of the loose and frayed ends had draped over his arm, leaking back down onto the ground.

Yarn couldn’t leak. 

I dropped the flowers and photos. The ring box flew out of my pocket and clattered somewhere to the floor too far away with the force I used in getting my hands out. They hovered over Wei Wuxian for a second, burning hot and unsure of what to do. 

My hands rolled him onto my lap, smearing the scarlet that was dripping from his wrists. The white sweater he had on was stained, just like the dark bags hanging under his closed eyes. Like the purple coloring his normally pink lips. My index and middle finger tried to press down and find a pulse, but they touched a wet and cold vein. Sliding under cut and jagged flesh.

Moving up to his neck, I tried again. All I managed to accomplish was smearing blood all over his translucent skin. 

I held him close to me. His wet hair spilled over the back of my hand while I cradled his head. The tunnel vision I had was rapidly escaping me, the light gone from the window and everything turning blurry as the chilling red only grew larger. It covered him. 

It was the only bright thing in the room. 

Bright blood had started to cover the notebook that laid beside us. My fuzzy and stinging eyes scanned over the words that hadn’t been smeared. 

“-you. We can finally be happy again. You can find someone who's worth your love, and I can finally rest. It's all over now.”

A sob retched itself from the bottom of my chest, fingers curling into the cold body in my arms. 

“Wei Ying,” was all I managed to hear over the ringing in my ears. 

There wouldn’t be any perfect days anymore. 

**Author's Note:**

> tw: depression, blood, graphic depiction of suicide
> 
> for fun (if you like pain like me) try to see the foreshadowing/what the red meant if you go back and re read it. i tried to play with symbolism with this one, and if you can find all of the references to death i'll give you a pat on the back and a box of tissues
> 
> thanks for suffering with me!


End file.
